closing time.

so, school is about to end. and i'm quite indifferent about the whole thing. i want the class and exam part to end, but i really don't want the legit 'college' aspect of it to end. you know, the socializing, always with your friends part. now, i am super excited about working with Student Life again this summer...don't get me wrong there, but leaving all my friends for the summer will be much more difficult this time i believe. this semester/year i've made some really close friends and some unforgettable memories. the Lord has done so much over this school year. as i recall previous posts i see all that the Lord has done and all the works He has started in my life. i am reminded of the verse that says He who created a good work in you will be faithful until completion. how awesome is that? all the things God has stirred up in my heart this year, He will stick by and carry out His purpose in them. some things i have done this year have been so random, yet so awesome. i've been out of the country and i have fallen in love with international students. hearing about their cultures and truly making friendships with them has been amazing. now, seeing some of them leave for summer and knowing i won't be seeing them again--that is more difficult than one might think.

at BCM last night we went over the year and had a time of prayer for the summer. God is using students from USC in powerful ways this summer. many are traveling abroad to bring His news, and many will be ministering to those they'll meet here in the states. i look forward to engulfing myself in the awesomeness of summer. i have many expectations and goals of myself this summer. one of them being to truly let my heart be captivated by His love. to be consumed and sit back in that consumption and truly be content. to truly want nothing more than what He has to offer me. so many times i find myself wanting more, always trying to excel in everything. this summer will be crazy busy and will require a lot of hard work and dedication, but i truly believe as a christian i can be crazy busy working/serving for the Lord and still rest in Him. it sounds like those things aren't possible, but i think when we truly are serving the Lord by serving others and our hearts are completely surrendered to His plan, we are at rest in Him. we find that we are exactly where He has called us to be--we get a sigh of relief that He is guiding us and we are His. He is protecting us. now, that's just one goal this summer... :) the others are little 'fun' things. make new friends, see the U.S., let students impact me, etc. God is so good and i'm blessed to be apart of His work.

right now, i'll be honest with you. i gotta get in the word. big time. it seems that sometimes i just don't have that desire and i'm in that valley position. i'm honest about this, yes, but it isn't okay. so, it's time to be obediant. that's that. obediance. hm, tough stuff. thanks for reading...

difficulties.

yesterday in the bible study i lead on the book 'captivating' we were wrapping up the entire book and just talking about things we've learned about God and about the way He created women. we came to the final conclusion that we will be exactly who we are supposed to be, without being held back by our insecurities and fears, when we are truly abiding in Christ. our joy will be concrete, no matter what happens to us or who leaves/enters our own lives. Christ is always steadfast, His love always near. but then why do we sometimes feel so lonely? is it because Christ has turned from us, no i don't think that is it. we have wandered out from under His wing. the very place we indeed feel burdens and sufferings of the world, but the comfort of the Lord is greater. He has overcome the world and all that is in it. Abide in Him. Abide in Him. Abide in Him. abiding in Him will always be the answer. it doesn't mean people won't hurt us or bad things won't happen, but in the midst of pain and suffering God's redeeming, loving, healing, and gentle character shines. now, we must also seek God like we do in suffering, even if we are not. we must remember who He is and how we are exactly who we are meant to be when we are in Him. His character is always perfect! in the book we also found truth about spiritual warfare. how ever present it is. how the devil does come to steal, kill, and destroy. he hates our Father with a great hatred, therefore, he hates His children-us. the devil tries to captivate our thoughts to therefore captivate our hearts, leading to the captivation of our lives and our actions. it is a scary thing, but we need to acknowledge that the devil is real. he wants us to fail. but, i'm so glad i was reminded on easter of the one who paid my debt, who raised my life up from the dead. i am under the wing of the one who defeated sin and death. and i hold that same power in me. today has been a very difficult day already and it is still morning. but in the presence of old memories and recent wounds i'm choosing to go about my day remembering that He who is in me is greater than the struggles, fears, pains, and situations around me.

ah!

alrightey. this is going to be quite brief. lots to do. been slammed. awesome. life. is. great. three. tests. project. quiz. paper. awesome....
okay--so this past week has flown by! i worked over the weekend and had an awesome time on Easter remembering what Jesus did. how awesome that He rose again and how even more awesome is it that He is going to return! reminded me of how i need to remember Easter, daily! well, i've been trying to get outside and do stuff this week. went biking and running several times. school work is overwhelming. the hardest part about college is balance. stayed up till 330 last night. got up at 730. yup, that's a total of 4 hours. i'm hoping to study into the darkness tonight--and get enough rest to do well on my first exam tomorrow at 125. and then i need to be motivated and full of rest to study for my two exams on thursday. phew. gotta get crackin. for sure. well, i'm going to still go to international lunch tomorrow. i think it will be good for me to get my mind off of anatomy before i have to take the test, plus--i love internationals. so this is good. okay, coffee is ready and calling my name. so is breakfast. so is a stack of anatomy papers. awesome. giving thanks for the opportunity to be at college, despite the chaos and madness it causes in my life--i am very thankful and blessed. honestly, keep remembering that i am not really doing the work for my teachers or my grades, but for the Lord. by being obediant to my teachers and fulfilling my assignments the best i can, i am being obediant to the Lord....awesome reminder.