"so i'm taking my hands and i'm reaching them out, and i fall down. for You i fall down"

so, it has been absolutely wonderful this past week. so much has gone on. so many challenges. it has been great though. well this past weekend i was able to be a leader for the international student day for south carolina. awesome. we met up at the zoo with a bunch of international students and took them around the zoo--quite fun. got to learn about so many different cultures. i got to meet people from colombia, thailand, moldova, britain, france, canada, australia, and some other places. so--it was incredible. and i was reminded by ken, the director, about missions. just something on my heart since getting back from nicaragua. even now, i've been starting to pray about next summer, 2011. just about where the Lord would have me be, possibly doing a foreign summer mission trip. who knows-where He leads me, I will follow. ken mentioned to us that by ministering to internationals and investing in them, we are reaching the world for Christ. which is so true. these internationals will go back to their countries one day, whether soon or in the future, and they will bring with them all the things they learned/experienced here in America. what a charge to us--to truly serve others and further the Kingdom of Christ among the nations.
--so this weekend was clearly incredible. starting this week i felt behind, like most weeks. lame :/. but, the stress of school is something i am trying to beat. i need to be responsible, but there are also areas in my life that matter far more than school. God is trying to build me and grow me, how can i ever put school above that? lately His challenge to me has been this...to have a quiet time or time with Him all day long. why do we always feels a fifteen or thirty minute time block is all we need with the Lord or really all we are willing to give Him. even then, thirty minutes seems to be a stretch. that's sad. so lately, i have tried to have my worship songs playing on my ipod as i walk to class and prayer something constantly coming off of my tongue. some days this conviction hits closer to home and it is all i can think about. other days, i have to remind myself of this challenge. i heard a song in Nicaragua that i had heard before, but this is really what i have been thinking about..that what i think about the most is my idol. and if something is my idol or many other things are my idol, i am not Christ focused. hm. just a challenge.
--heading out tomorrow to an international lunch along with some P90x at night. i know, i'm insane. p90x is so hard, but i realize i do need to take care of my body for the sole reason that it is the Lords and i need to respect it a lot more than i do. this is a very difficult thing i am coming to see...something that is definitely a large work in progress.
thanks for following up on my life as i try to let my challenges flow from my heart, to my mind, then to here on this blog.

"so i'm taking my hands and i'm reaching them out, and i fall down. before You i fall down"

:)

so..this weekend was wonderful! i was able to go home and see the family, YAY! i just love them, a whole lot. i was also about to attend a wedding, which if you dont know..i love weddings. i love most everything about them. this wedding in particular was outside and it was absolutely beautiful. it was also a beautiful picture to see two followers of Jesus come together in marriage and to know that their love for each other comes from Christ. that just gets me all giddy and excited just thinking about having that with someone :).

i also got to see two friends from Georgia this weekend that i probably won't see again for a while, so it was super nice to catch up with them. so yeah--this weekend was a success.

this week doesn't look TOO brutal. only a little bit :) hah . a project due and a test. hm. awesome. also, advisement for next year. cannot believe that i'll be a junior. insanity.



so--on the way back to columbia last night i just had the most pleasant drive. it is amazing the peace and comfort you can feel alone in your car just worshipping the Lord. i had the new passion CD turned up and i was just listening to the words and singing, a whole lot. it was such a comforting feeling. God just really pulled at my heart and reminded me of the mission He has put before me and how much He loves me. i feel so blessed to have had that encounter. so, i'm heading into this week, full force, expecting to have many more encounters with the Lord. now, i just have to remind myself of what is truly important in this life...we'll see :)

song.

here it is in spanish and english: if you know the song, i would encourage you to listen to the spanish version.

gets me excited about how when Jesus returns, EVERY nation will bow before Him and sing His praises. how awesome. also, how God desires for us to experience Heaven on earth. for His kingdom to come. awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q8ESzK5pCw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUUEk9q_hR0

unity.

so..today has been a fairly good day...you know, just getting 'stuff' done. had a test, yada yada yada. i'm really excited about a banquet i'm going to tonight. it is for our bcm leadership team, the old and the new team. i'm excited to just get a little dressed up and be able to share some sweet fellowship with some dear friends. it is nice when that happens.

so, last night. it was an awesome night. me and my roomsies were just sitting around talking to one another about the future. talking about the craziness each of our lives will bring in the future. talking about marriage, careers, furthering our education, etc. we were just talking about everything, really. both of my roommates are in serious relationships so their future seems a little more concrete than mine. it has taken a while for me to finally embrace this singleness stuff. it doesn't necessarily feel the greatest all the time, but when i sit down and realize the Lord has me exactly where He wants me, everything is alright. the excitement also comes in when i realize i am back in square one. i can evaluate who i am in the Lord and look at what qualities and what type of person the Lord desires me to embrace. i have been seeking out the Godly qualities and such, but last night we talked about the silly little qualities that i would like and some of them, need. funny and embarassing, but i realize, i need someone pretty corny and romantic. i am a sap. i may be in denial about my sappy?-ness, but o well. haha. just some fun discussion last night that has me excited about the future and the realm of possibilities...excited to look back one day and read this stuff and see where the Lord has led me. totally cool. so yeah-that's that.

now, for some more nicaragua. the 'goodbye' day was a very difficult day...the day we were leaving the Nica's we had a little morning session with them. we were able to pray over them and their families. we were in a big circle inside Olivia's home and surrounded by that family and some additional pastors that were with us. the pastor expressed to us his gratefullness to us and how much they had been blessed by our presence. it was a very humbling experience for me because i was SO blessed by them. the pastor shared a blessing for us and reminded us that this would not be the last time we all saw each other. it was a very emotional time for our team as well as everyone in the room. being reminded of the Lord and His greatness, we were all in a silent awe. and then--something incredible happened. it was seriously a moment where the Holy Spirit was present. the pastors had prepared a song they wanted us to sing with them as a final goodbye. the song selected was just incredible, "How Great Thou Art". we sang in english as they sang in spanish and we praised the Lord, together. completely united in the Lord. there was no barrier, there was no difference between us. we were standing there together with one cause, one purpose. to glorify and praise the Lord. such a magnificient picture of heaven. that moment is one that will be permanently in mind. such a moment of being completely surrounded by the presence of the Lord and being filled by Him. awesome stuff. awesome stuff.

the start of many challenges.

wow. what a wonderful week i was able to be apart of! the nicaragua trip was one i'll never ever forget. the moments and experiences i was able to witness and be apart of are ones i doubt i will ever forget. a few of them i know are going to be landmark experiences in the journey of my faith. i'm hoping to share some of these experiences on here over the next few weeks. i could probably write a book on my trip!

well we arrived at the atlanta airport on saturday and arrived in Managua, Nicaragua around 9 at night. we got to this mission house and unpacked all of our packed backpacks to be sorted. we eliminated extra weight and repacked our packs. we set out early the next morning after some wonderful breakfast and some time in the word. we studied james chapter 1 and discussed the importance of being do-ers of the word. also, we set out with the mindset that we truly wanted to remember the people we meet and remember their faces and stories.

it was a six hour car ride. three hours on paved road and three off roading. the ride was quite bumpy and the drive was exhausting on the entire team. we arrived in Nawawas and stayed in a church for the night. the majority of the group stayed in the church and then a few of us stayed in a house next door. we hung hammocks from the ceiling and slept in them, however, some slept on a few cots we had with us. i was in the house next door...olivia's house. olivia is a fraile older woman who was so kind and hospitable. olivia had two grown sons living with her, ishmael and edwin. both of her sons are now separated from their wives-their wives are now with other men. ishmael is the pastor of one of the churches we worked with and he was beyond kind to all of us. edwin was so funny! edwin kept saying to us 'no comprendo espanol, only english' hah. he was great--he sang praise songs all the time. i don't think he'll ever know the impact he had on our team and how much we were encouraged by his smile and songs.
--still on this day, i met someone who i will never forget. her name is flora (flower in english). she is in her twenties and i met her in the church. she is beautiful and very kind-hearted. she spoke no english, but we were still able to communicate by the little spanish i knew. she grabbed my arm and drug me to the missionary and requested that she take me to her house. Loren (missionary) said that was fine and so we set off. it was a short walk and Flora introduced me to her family and gave me a tour of her home....
yeah-a tour of her home. it was fairly clean and not too big...this woman who has very little and a dirt floor gladly welcomed me into her home. she gave me some food to eat and showed me all she had. i don't know what other way to say this, but why aren't we like this? we have plenty--more than most and yet we cannot do such a simple thing as this. the point is not that we need to have the whole world over into our dirty houses. the point is far deeper than that. it is a matter of the heart. flora wasn't worried about the simple, pointless, and worldy things. she saw much deeper than that. it mattered to her to make sure i knew that she cared for me. she reached out to show me love and kindness and offer a friendship, a special bond. in moments where we feel led to do something, do we let things of the world (like a dirty house or no groceries or even a messy car) keep us from pursuing things of eternity? do we let those things take precedence over God-given moments of being blessed and showing His love? we can also justify NOT doing something because it may not be 'safe'. honestly, i could have easily been like yeah right, flora. i am not going off with you down the road into this village i know nothing of all by myself. and certainly not because i don't know spanish like at all. yeah-something like that could have easily kept me from going. i realized the moment that little thought crossed my mind how silly it was. i serve the God of the universe. when our hearts feel tugged and led, we have to trust. we make excuses, and most of the time our excuse is fear based. do we not stop and talk to a homeless man on the street because he might steal our stuff? pretty sure Jesus lived a life opposite of fear, He is a model for obediance to the father. next time you see a need or feel a call, don't think (def. don't plan out every little detail and formulate a well-organized plan either :) ) just do it. trust in the Lord that He will guide you, He doesn't need a schedule or plan to operate. trust me :). just a thought. still thinking over it myself. more to come.

first leg: complete.

oh the craziness of today. it has been awesome and i imagine it will continue to be awesome :). well, got up this morning, ventured to class, came home, finished packing! i was meaning to go to class, but i went out to lunch with the J-crew (some cool people) and that just was more important that studying anatomy today. for reals. i have worked so hard all week-so i decided i owed it to myself to relax before heading down to GA. my trip was an hour shorter than i thought, which made me super excited. i realized, i hate interstates, highways, and anything of the sort. eh. lots of farmland. awesome to arrive in vidalia, ga and read...welcome to vidalia, the sweet onion city. baha love it. here with suzanna, my new awesome friend. she'll be going on the trip as well. nice to bond with someone before getting introduced to a bunch of people tomorrow. so pumped-God is going to work and i'm excited about all the posts that i'll be able to write because of His awesomeness. He is good. please pray for the groups travels, healthiness, and for God's name to be glorified throughout all we will be doing there. pray for the people who will receive the gospel as well. thanks for your support. i trust that He will work, in huge and mighty ways...so thankful He has allowed me to be apart of His work!

God's greatness.

as i am writing today, my heart is heavy. for multiple reasons. this week has been such a dragging week. tests and a packed schedule. it is like i only remember the stressful moments of this week. i have, yet again, pushed aside the one thing that truly matters this week. i have spent all week rushing around and fulfilling so many tasks. i am trying to prepare to leave for atlanta tomorrow and nicaragua on saturday. this is my first time i have been able to start preparing this week. i was rushing around the kitchen just trying to do some chores i've put off all week, and then God's crazy way of bringing me back to His heart happened again. i was just drying a dish and i had some praise music playing and God just revealed His love and tenderness to my heart. i was like, what am i doing? all week i have put these silly tasks above this, this peace of the Lord. so needless to say, i journeyed into my room and spent some time before God. just pouring it all out. i'm nervous about nicaragua, i want to be used. i realize in my weakness He is made great, so i stand before you all and the king of kings completely humbled by His greatness. God's awesomeness appeared again as i was reading first timothy and, of course, i read this passage:
1 tim 3: 16
"Beyond all question, the mystery of godliness is great: He appeared in a body, was vindicated by the Spirit, was seen by angels, was preached among the nations, was believed on in the world, was taken up in glory."

oh God, He is truly great. this verse was awesome for many reasons. it is so encouraging to remember how Jesus beat death. He beat it, and was taken up in glory. He overcame what i will never be able to do on my own, but He lives in me. the same one who was taken up in glory, He is here. awesome. the nations will bow down to Him. for me to be traveling to Nicaragua in two days to preach Him among that nation, i am pumped. so yeah--God is overloading me with His wisdom. He is so real to me right now and i have no idea why, but i like it! it is overwhelming!

not only through that verse, but with conversations i had yesterday with some friends. just remembering God's grace and forgiveness. and remembering how i need to cling to Him and obey. i also remembered what i blogged the other day...how when i confess my sin-i confess His perfection. i confess His majesty, His greatness. i am truly blessed this feeling has been made known to me by Him. so..in my weakness, His perfection shines on. i pray it would shine in nicaragua, to my city, to my school, to my family, and throughout the world.

now--i have to continue preparing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. i'll blog before i leave tomorrow for sure. but for now, i'm going to try and live out this stuff..which is a huge task because not only do i know God's power and greatness, so does satan. that stupid killer, stealer, and destroyer...psh. good thing Jesus was taken up in glory and overcame all that satan has to offer :)

busy.

today: class, meeting, studying, bible study, studying, bed. tomorrow: test 1, shower, studying, class, class, doctors appointment, lab, BCM!, studying. wednesday: class, cram sesh, test 2, relax, studying,floor hockey (?), studying, bed. thursday: class, cram sesh, test 3, class,JILLIANS!, bed! FRIDAY: class, packin, class, ATL. SATURDAY: NICARAGUA!!!!!! so basically just living for saturday!

oh man. so if you cannot tell i am swamped. literally, swamped. good news! someone already replied to my craigs list post about leasing my apartment for the summer. this is a huge blessing!! ah! okay-now off to study. i somehow think that coffee will be my best friend this week. hmm? here is a song that has been near to my heart over the past few days. just a simple prayer, humbling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Az9kMZyNNCM

"i'm falling on my knees. offering all of me. Jesus you're all this heart is living for. broken i run to you, for your arms are open wide. i am weary, but i know your touch restores my life. so i wait for you, so i wait for you. i'm falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus you're all this heart is living for. you're all i'm living for. so i wait for you, so i wait for you. so i wait, for you. i'm falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus you're all this heart is living for. and i'm falling on my knees. "--if we could pray this every day, do you think our lives would look just a little bit different. my schedule above, wouldn't matter to me that much don't ya think? tough pill to swallow. eh. my life is for Him.