closing time.

so, school is about to end. and i'm quite indifferent about the whole thing. i want the class and exam part to end, but i really don't want the legit 'college' aspect of it to end. you know, the socializing, always with your friends part. now, i am super excited about working with Student Life again this summer...don't get me wrong there, but leaving all my friends for the summer will be much more difficult this time i believe. this semester/year i've made some really close friends and some unforgettable memories. the Lord has done so much over this school year. as i recall previous posts i see all that the Lord has done and all the works He has started in my life. i am reminded of the verse that says He who created a good work in you will be faithful until completion. how awesome is that? all the things God has stirred up in my heart this year, He will stick by and carry out His purpose in them. some things i have done this year have been so random, yet so awesome. i've been out of the country and i have fallen in love with international students. hearing about their cultures and truly making friendships with them has been amazing. now, seeing some of them leave for summer and knowing i won't be seeing them again--that is more difficult than one might think.

at BCM last night we went over the year and had a time of prayer for the summer. God is using students from USC in powerful ways this summer. many are traveling abroad to bring His news, and many will be ministering to those they'll meet here in the states. i look forward to engulfing myself in the awesomeness of summer. i have many expectations and goals of myself this summer. one of them being to truly let my heart be captivated by His love. to be consumed and sit back in that consumption and truly be content. to truly want nothing more than what He has to offer me. so many times i find myself wanting more, always trying to excel in everything. this summer will be crazy busy and will require a lot of hard work and dedication, but i truly believe as a christian i can be crazy busy working/serving for the Lord and still rest in Him. it sounds like those things aren't possible, but i think when we truly are serving the Lord by serving others and our hearts are completely surrendered to His plan, we are at rest in Him. we find that we are exactly where He has called us to be--we get a sigh of relief that He is guiding us and we are His. He is protecting us. now, that's just one goal this summer... :) the others are little 'fun' things. make new friends, see the U.S., let students impact me, etc. God is so good and i'm blessed to be apart of His work.

right now, i'll be honest with you. i gotta get in the word. big time. it seems that sometimes i just don't have that desire and i'm in that valley position. i'm honest about this, yes, but it isn't okay. so, it's time to be obediant. that's that. obediance. hm, tough stuff. thanks for reading...

difficulties.

yesterday in the bible study i lead on the book 'captivating' we were wrapping up the entire book and just talking about things we've learned about God and about the way He created women. we came to the final conclusion that we will be exactly who we are supposed to be, without being held back by our insecurities and fears, when we are truly abiding in Christ. our joy will be concrete, no matter what happens to us or who leaves/enters our own lives. Christ is always steadfast, His love always near. but then why do we sometimes feel so lonely? is it because Christ has turned from us, no i don't think that is it. we have wandered out from under His wing. the very place we indeed feel burdens and sufferings of the world, but the comfort of the Lord is greater. He has overcome the world and all that is in it. Abide in Him. Abide in Him. Abide in Him. abiding in Him will always be the answer. it doesn't mean people won't hurt us or bad things won't happen, but in the midst of pain and suffering God's redeeming, loving, healing, and gentle character shines. now, we must also seek God like we do in suffering, even if we are not. we must remember who He is and how we are exactly who we are meant to be when we are in Him. His character is always perfect! in the book we also found truth about spiritual warfare. how ever present it is. how the devil does come to steal, kill, and destroy. he hates our Father with a great hatred, therefore, he hates His children-us. the devil tries to captivate our thoughts to therefore captivate our hearts, leading to the captivation of our lives and our actions. it is a scary thing, but we need to acknowledge that the devil is real. he wants us to fail. but, i'm so glad i was reminded on easter of the one who paid my debt, who raised my life up from the dead. i am under the wing of the one who defeated sin and death. and i hold that same power in me. today has been a very difficult day already and it is still morning. but in the presence of old memories and recent wounds i'm choosing to go about my day remembering that He who is in me is greater than the struggles, fears, pains, and situations around me.

ah!

alrightey. this is going to be quite brief. lots to do. been slammed. awesome. life. is. great. three. tests. project. quiz. paper. awesome....
okay--so this past week has flown by! i worked over the weekend and had an awesome time on Easter remembering what Jesus did. how awesome that He rose again and how even more awesome is it that He is going to return! reminded me of how i need to remember Easter, daily! well, i've been trying to get outside and do stuff this week. went biking and running several times. school work is overwhelming. the hardest part about college is balance. stayed up till 330 last night. got up at 730. yup, that's a total of 4 hours. i'm hoping to study into the darkness tonight--and get enough rest to do well on my first exam tomorrow at 125. and then i need to be motivated and full of rest to study for my two exams on thursday. phew. gotta get crackin. for sure. well, i'm going to still go to international lunch tomorrow. i think it will be good for me to get my mind off of anatomy before i have to take the test, plus--i love internationals. so this is good. okay, coffee is ready and calling my name. so is breakfast. so is a stack of anatomy papers. awesome. giving thanks for the opportunity to be at college, despite the chaos and madness it causes in my life--i am very thankful and blessed. honestly, keep remembering that i am not really doing the work for my teachers or my grades, but for the Lord. by being obediant to my teachers and fulfilling my assignments the best i can, i am being obediant to the Lord....awesome reminder.

"so i'm taking my hands and i'm reaching them out, and i fall down. for You i fall down"

so, it has been absolutely wonderful this past week. so much has gone on. so many challenges. it has been great though. well this past weekend i was able to be a leader for the international student day for south carolina. awesome. we met up at the zoo with a bunch of international students and took them around the zoo--quite fun. got to learn about so many different cultures. i got to meet people from colombia, thailand, moldova, britain, france, canada, australia, and some other places. so--it was incredible. and i was reminded by ken, the director, about missions. just something on my heart since getting back from nicaragua. even now, i've been starting to pray about next summer, 2011. just about where the Lord would have me be, possibly doing a foreign summer mission trip. who knows-where He leads me, I will follow. ken mentioned to us that by ministering to internationals and investing in them, we are reaching the world for Christ. which is so true. these internationals will go back to their countries one day, whether soon or in the future, and they will bring with them all the things they learned/experienced here in America. what a charge to us--to truly serve others and further the Kingdom of Christ among the nations.
--so this weekend was clearly incredible. starting this week i felt behind, like most weeks. lame :/. but, the stress of school is something i am trying to beat. i need to be responsible, but there are also areas in my life that matter far more than school. God is trying to build me and grow me, how can i ever put school above that? lately His challenge to me has been this...to have a quiet time or time with Him all day long. why do we always feels a fifteen or thirty minute time block is all we need with the Lord or really all we are willing to give Him. even then, thirty minutes seems to be a stretch. that's sad. so lately, i have tried to have my worship songs playing on my ipod as i walk to class and prayer something constantly coming off of my tongue. some days this conviction hits closer to home and it is all i can think about. other days, i have to remind myself of this challenge. i heard a song in Nicaragua that i had heard before, but this is really what i have been thinking about..that what i think about the most is my idol. and if something is my idol or many other things are my idol, i am not Christ focused. hm. just a challenge.
--heading out tomorrow to an international lunch along with some P90x at night. i know, i'm insane. p90x is so hard, but i realize i do need to take care of my body for the sole reason that it is the Lords and i need to respect it a lot more than i do. this is a very difficult thing i am coming to see...something that is definitely a large work in progress.
thanks for following up on my life as i try to let my challenges flow from my heart, to my mind, then to here on this blog.

"so i'm taking my hands and i'm reaching them out, and i fall down. before You i fall down"

:)

so..this weekend was wonderful! i was able to go home and see the family, YAY! i just love them, a whole lot. i was also about to attend a wedding, which if you dont know..i love weddings. i love most everything about them. this wedding in particular was outside and it was absolutely beautiful. it was also a beautiful picture to see two followers of Jesus come together in marriage and to know that their love for each other comes from Christ. that just gets me all giddy and excited just thinking about having that with someone :).

i also got to see two friends from Georgia this weekend that i probably won't see again for a while, so it was super nice to catch up with them. so yeah--this weekend was a success.

this week doesn't look TOO brutal. only a little bit :) hah . a project due and a test. hm. awesome. also, advisement for next year. cannot believe that i'll be a junior. insanity.



so--on the way back to columbia last night i just had the most pleasant drive. it is amazing the peace and comfort you can feel alone in your car just worshipping the Lord. i had the new passion CD turned up and i was just listening to the words and singing, a whole lot. it was such a comforting feeling. God just really pulled at my heart and reminded me of the mission He has put before me and how much He loves me. i feel so blessed to have had that encounter. so, i'm heading into this week, full force, expecting to have many more encounters with the Lord. now, i just have to remind myself of what is truly important in this life...we'll see :)

song.

here it is in spanish and english: if you know the song, i would encourage you to listen to the spanish version.

gets me excited about how when Jesus returns, EVERY nation will bow before Him and sing His praises. how awesome. also, how God desires for us to experience Heaven on earth. for His kingdom to come. awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q8ESzK5pCw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUUEk9q_hR0

unity.

so..today has been a fairly good day...you know, just getting 'stuff' done. had a test, yada yada yada. i'm really excited about a banquet i'm going to tonight. it is for our bcm leadership team, the old and the new team. i'm excited to just get a little dressed up and be able to share some sweet fellowship with some dear friends. it is nice when that happens.

so, last night. it was an awesome night. me and my roomsies were just sitting around talking to one another about the future. talking about the craziness each of our lives will bring in the future. talking about marriage, careers, furthering our education, etc. we were just talking about everything, really. both of my roommates are in serious relationships so their future seems a little more concrete than mine. it has taken a while for me to finally embrace this singleness stuff. it doesn't necessarily feel the greatest all the time, but when i sit down and realize the Lord has me exactly where He wants me, everything is alright. the excitement also comes in when i realize i am back in square one. i can evaluate who i am in the Lord and look at what qualities and what type of person the Lord desires me to embrace. i have been seeking out the Godly qualities and such, but last night we talked about the silly little qualities that i would like and some of them, need. funny and embarassing, but i realize, i need someone pretty corny and romantic. i am a sap. i may be in denial about my sappy?-ness, but o well. haha. just some fun discussion last night that has me excited about the future and the realm of possibilities...excited to look back one day and read this stuff and see where the Lord has led me. totally cool. so yeah-that's that.

now, for some more nicaragua. the 'goodbye' day was a very difficult day...the day we were leaving the Nica's we had a little morning session with them. we were able to pray over them and their families. we were in a big circle inside Olivia's home and surrounded by that family and some additional pastors that were with us. the pastor expressed to us his gratefullness to us and how much they had been blessed by our presence. it was a very humbling experience for me because i was SO blessed by them. the pastor shared a blessing for us and reminded us that this would not be the last time we all saw each other. it was a very emotional time for our team as well as everyone in the room. being reminded of the Lord and His greatness, we were all in a silent awe. and then--something incredible happened. it was seriously a moment where the Holy Spirit was present. the pastors had prepared a song they wanted us to sing with them as a final goodbye. the song selected was just incredible, "How Great Thou Art". we sang in english as they sang in spanish and we praised the Lord, together. completely united in the Lord. there was no barrier, there was no difference between us. we were standing there together with one cause, one purpose. to glorify and praise the Lord. such a magnificient picture of heaven. that moment is one that will be permanently in mind. such a moment of being completely surrounded by the presence of the Lord and being filled by Him. awesome stuff. awesome stuff.