hungry.

so, lets start somewhere. the chaos of last week just had me dragging on and on. well the past few weeks haven't been the world's greatest. about a month ago i had felt so close the Lord and it was incredible, recently i have struggled to have that same feeling. i have been just struggling. no explain as to why, i just have. the process of healing from a situation like mine definitely isn't easy. i thought that once i started feeling great i would never feel the way i did before, broken and hurt. well-that is not true. i'm starting to realize this healing business is a roller coaster. if i let my guard down even for a second, i find myself in a downward spiral. God is still present in my life, for sure, but ive felt quite distant. digging back into the word is going to be what helps me regain my footing. i'm starting to read first timothy and it has already been awesome. here is a passage:
first timothy 1: 15
"here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom i am the worst. but for that very reason i was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an exmaple for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. now to the king eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."

so here i am, before you all. a sinner. but thank goodness Jesus came to the earth to save sinners. He did that so He could display His power, His patience. it is all about His glory. and through me, He can display Himself. WOW. i could rip myself apart about my sin and my constant battle with sin-but i am brought to this. i am redeemed. Jesus counted me worthy of saving, and now-worthy of using. using me to share His power. by confessing my sins-i can also confess His grace, power, and forgiveness.